Our fifth and final post in this series! Many thanks to this very brave volunteer for sharing her story. Through education and awareness, we hope to break the cycle of abuse. Spread the word…
“If we’re going to be together it’s gonna have to be this way.”
Warning: This testimony contains sexually explicit language.
I wish I would’ve known the red flags.
We started dating the day after I turned 15. At first I was really excited, and he would say things like, “Don’t you want to get married?” But then he started groping me in 10th grade geometry class.
On his 16th birthday he forced me to give him a blowjob. That was my first sexual encounter and I had a panic attack as a result. He thought rubbing my back and saying it was ok that he didn’t finish would fix the problem. There were many more forced, awkward sexual encounters. He would tell me, “You can go home now,” after we had sex, but I really just wanted to hang out.
I wasn’t allowed to be in the presence of any other guy while we were dating. He isolated me, and I had to lie to protect myself. When he found out, he told me he was going to have sex with an old friend of mine. “I have to hurt you in the way you hurt me,” he said.
I knew I had to leave him, but I didn’t know how. He was my only ride to class and he would force me to have sex with him before we left, saying “You owe me.”
He never hit me, but he left scars that will be with me for the rest of my life. Recognize the red flags and don’t be afraid to tell your family or friends [or, if you don’t feel safe with friends or family, there are resources and people available to help you]. Psychological, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse are not normal, and they leave deep scars.
In a healthy relationship, you may hear: “I value your input, what will make our relationship healthy for both of us?”
Follow this link if you or someone you know needs help to break the cycle of abuse: www.thewavefoundation.org/braking-the-cycle/
*Permission granted to share this story*